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6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce

Sep 08 2014 at 05:29am

Apathy and contempt in a marriage are warning
signs that your marriage needs your attention,
and the number one predictor of divorce is
conflict avoidance. So, if you and your partner
avoid conflict and lack the skills of conflict
resolution, your marriage may be in jeopardy. Dr. John Gottman, marriage & family therapist and
leading researcher on marriage, has conducted
studies over the span of 40 years to determine
the predictors of divorce. His studies showed that
these six characteristics of communication predict
the likelihood of divorce with 91% accuracy. If the dynamics in your marriage fit these
patterns, your chance of divorce is great:

1. Harsh start-ups. Approaching a conversation
or conflict with sarcasm, accusations, criticism or
derogatory comments is dangerous for a
marriage. Initiating a conversation harshly, will
likely result in an acrimonious ending without

2. The four horsemen. Gottman identifies these as
contempt, criticism, defensiveness and
stonewalling. His research shows a correlation
between these characteristics of communication
with your spouse drastically increase likelihood
to divorce.

3. Flooding. You and/or your spouse overwhelm
each other with negativity that causes an
emotional shut-down and detachment from your
relationship. When you or your partner suddenly
barrages the other with criticism or contempt,
leaving the other feeling shell shocked, this results in disengagement and often, over time,
leads to contempt.

4. Body language. When one or both partners
become overwhelmed and flooded, it results in
physiological changes in the body. Increased
heart rate, a secretion of adrenaline and an
increase in blood pressure occur and these
physiological responses preclude the ability to effectively resolve conflict. Flooding triggers a
fight or flight response, resulting in
disengagement and/or stonewalling by your

5. Failed attempts to repair. If conflict is not
resolved or stonewalled by one partner, the
likelihood of divorce increases. Conflict resolution
is imperative in maintaining a healthy
relationship. Stonewalling is the lack of
willingness to engage in conversation and resolution around a conflict.

Culled from yourtango.com

Last edited 26 Sep 2014




Re: 6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce

Nov 19 2014 at 07:32am

life in hell or heaven is same

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Re: 6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce

Nov 19 2014 at 07:38am

There was confusion at the Aper Aku Stadium Makurdi, venue of the 50th
birthday thanksgiving mass of Governor Gabriel Suswam of Benue State as
supporters of the ruling People’s Democratic Party (PDP) became agitated
with the surprise appearance of Chief Barnabas Gemade on the occasion.
Gemade is the serving senator of the Benue North East senatorial district
which the governor is eyeing, having purchased nomination form and is
insisting on replacing the incumbent, who is bent on seeking re-election at the
upper legislative chambers.
Pandemonium broke out when Gemade was introduced as one of the high
profile Nigerians present on the occasion as the supporters became restive,
creating disorder at the venue.
Anxiety was heightened by the presence of ardent supporters of the senator
who showed on the occasion dressed in Gemade for 2015 attires.
A mild drama ensued among the supporters of both aspirants leading to their
shouting ‘Suswam for Senate’, ‘Gemade must stay’ on top of their voices
which created apprehension at the stadium. It took the intervention of security
agencies to calm the situation.

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