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Three attitudes that ruin African relationships

Aug 16 2020 at 07:43am

Notice: This piece targets only African relationships. Therefore, it will not be true when applied universally. This is because, the fibre that forms and bounds the relationships of people from different races, differ. Implicitly, the clime in which people find themselves is a major influence on relationship life. So, to give a relationship advice that would hold true for a selected set of people, the counselor needs an insight into the traditional and cultural background of such people.

Without exploring what the African culture and traditions are, I would go directly into outlining attitudes that ruin African Relationships, but these outlines are rooted and founded upon a knowledge of those cultural and traditional values.

Final notice: no matter how you loathe your culture or tradition, you can't change it in a lifetime!

So, I begin to analyze three (inherited) attitudes that ruin African relationships.

1. An expectation of a totalitarian freedom (the Independent woman syndrome):

Primitively and culturally, an African man is hardwired to dominate his female partner while the female is expected to submit! At the emergence of western-modernism, tables turned. The woman is "educated" and she expects to be free. An African man may endure but he cannot stand a woman who is overly independent of him, in a relationship. Even the African woman cannot manage freedom. Therefore, she ruins herself in a way or ten.

Take a hint from this African insight: a woman without husband is like a bicycle without brakes.

2. Giving so much leeway to the woman:

the point of this writing has been made right from the introductory notice, and in this paragraph, the reader should be able to infer what this point should or is about to elucidate. Simply, an African woman cannot manage freedom, giving her the liberty to act on her whims would bring the relationship to fatal collapse if not absolute. The restraint she needs is the iron first of an able man.

3. Being dependent on your female partner for livelihood.

Culturally, a man is the ultimate provider for his partner and turning this trend around will only yield a henpecked man. Since he is being henpecked and he already has an inherent desire to dominate, a conflict shall arise. This is because, no woman love to be dominated by the man she consistently takes care of. It's either the man leaves the relationship for his own pride, or the woman dispose him out of her own irritation.

Last edited 16 Aug 2020

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