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[quote uid=kossydiba pid=417] 20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood. 22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or Bottom peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles. 23. Unless you're in prison, never fight Unclad. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good Bottom wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy. 24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed. 25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat. 26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time. 27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a Dam standing on the sideline. 28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage. 29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response. 30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "Come on, give me one more, harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers" "Nice Bottom! Are you a Sagittarius?" 31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean. 32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine. 33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary. 34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes. 35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide. 36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either. 37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "Bleep off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about. 38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was. 39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it. 40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year 41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least o [/quote]